hathor_girl

Chapter 10: Hosts

Malek POV

Both Lantash and Jolinar have now gotten new hosts, and are taking a few moments to do the preliminary blending and connecting everything. Tokim and Philka, their former hosts, are dead. I am grieving for my friends, but I know it is much worse for Lantash and Jolinar. Losing a host is always very hard, as if a part of you is gone - especially when you have been together for as long as they have.

They have also each lost a mate - making this even harder. I feel sorry for them. Naron is comforting me, and gently reminding me of our duty.

Sighing, I take out my zat and shoot Tokim and Philka three times each, making sure the Goa'uld cannot revive them for one reason or other, and torturing them. We will honour them when we get back to the tunnels.

I glance at Lantash and Jolinar. They seem to be doing well. Their new hosts are young and healthy. They will soon awaken.

How strange it is to see them look like this! It is always weird when your friends and loved ones get new hosts. Not only do you lose friends, but those surviving looks different. It takes a while to get used to it, though we quickly learn to see the person behind. It is actually easy to recognize symbiotes that you know, even when they are in a new host.

A danger we need to think of when going undercover.

Naron and I both very much hope these new young ones...Martouf and Rosha...will be able to accept being hosts, despite the circumstances it happened under. Hope that they will become our good friends, like Tokim and Philka were.

I turn to Kelmaa, as she calls my attention to a group of Jaffa, led by what is obviously a Goa'uld - I believe I recognize him as Bastet's underling Zera'h. Well, it was too much to hope for that no one would notice or complain.

Since I am pretending to be Ilkor, Bastet's vassal, and the other Tok'ra here are my underlings, I prepare myself to answer. Zera'h will be expecting it to be me to do so - letting someone lower answer would be an insult. He may be Bastet's underling, but Ilkor is lower still. Goa'uld consider hierarchy to be important and enjoy showing those below them that they are inferior.

"Lord Ilkar...did not believe it when I heard it - you stole two hosts from Bastet!" Zera'h said, angrily.

"My Lord Zera'h." I bow politely to him. "I apologize, but in the confusion, there were no one to talk to about the matter, and my loyal underlings were dying - from wounds they received while guests of our Queen Bastet. I knew she would not wish for these minions to die due to the unfortunate miscalculations of the strengths of Morrigan and Ishkur. Naturally, I assumed she would be pleased to offer these unused hosts for my underlings." I dare him to say differently - I am close to saying that the attack is Bastet's fault, but only if he choses to understand it that way.

Zera'h looks as if he is about to explode, but he cannot say I am wrong, without slandering his Queen. Finally, he gets himself enough under control to answer.

"I see. Please make sure to consult someone of higher position next time you do something like this. For now, I will look forward to congratulating your underlings on their new and superior hosts."

I bow, hiding my relief. Zera'h leave and I turn to see Lantash is awake.

"You handled that well." He looks weary, and unhappy. Exhausted no doubt from trying to keep Tokim alive, and also grieving for him. It is fortunate his new host is so strong and healthy.

"Thank you, old friend. I wish this situation had not occured."

"Likewise." He sits up and looks worriedly to Jolinar.

"She is well, and should soon awaken also."

He nods, relieved. He gently caresses her arm.

Martouf POV

I slowly wake up again, feeling confused. I hear someone talking to me, but for some reason I can't open my mouth to answer. I try again, then I hear what the voice is saying.

~Martouf...I am Lantash. I am very grateful to you for becoming my host. You have saved my life!~

I again attempt to talk, to answer whomever it is that is talking.

~I'm in your head - and neck - and I apologize, but I have to keep control for now. I could not risk you talking out loud, like you would have done just now. Unfortunately, I will have to be in control until we get away. No one here can now I am not Goa'uld, and they do not allow their hosts control.~

Well, that makes sense, but I still feel myself panicking. I can't do anything! This... Lantash is controlling everything? But is that not what a Goa'uld does?

~Yes, but I am not Goa'uld... merely pretending to be one, while we are here at Bastet's palace. I do not like it, and I am sorry. I realise how hard it must be for you, but I assure you, I am not Goa'uld, and you will have control again.~

He sends me warmth and comfort and suddenly I am no longer panicking. It feels nice, actually - and it confuses me. He says he is not Goa'uld, and is being nice - but he also has taken control away from me and keeping it.

And why am I calling him 'him' and not 'it'?

Wait! He can read my mind?

Lantash is amused, I can feel it. Actually, he is obviously laughing.

~Sorry. It's wrong of me to laugh at you. You have no way of knowing. Yes. I can read your mind, but I would not do it. As it is, you are 'yelling' and I cannot avoid hearing it. I will teach you to hide your thoughts, at least until you are feeling more comfortable with me. As for calling me 'he' or 'it'? Well, strictly speaking, I am an it, as symbiotes are genderless - except for the queens, but that is an explanation for later. However, I have only ever had male hosts, and I do think of myself as male, so 'he' would be appropriate.~

I 'nod' - or mentally send my confirmation of understanding, I guess. It will take a while to figure out what to call things when you are talking mentally. It's actually not so bad to have someone else in your head, as I would have expected. I think - hope - we will get along well.

I can feel Lantash is happy with this, though I can also feel a great sadness beneath everything else.

~I am happy because you do not reject me, but is actually considering accepting me, and perhaps agreeing to stay my host. The sadness you sense is from my grief for my former host. We had been together for a long time, and we were very close. In addition, the host of my mate was killed as well, so I grieve for her also - she was also my mate, of course, and I loved her dearly. I am trying to block my grief from you, but I see I was not having as much success as I hoped.~

~I'm sorry for your loss.~ It is strange, I do feel as if I am grieving for someone as well, though Lantash is doing his best to block it, as he says.

~Strong feelings, like love, hate, grief... are shared. My emotions should affect you only peripherally unless we stay together and blend fully. In that case, our feelings will synchronize.</b>~ Lantash sighs. ~I very much hope my surviving mate - Jolinar - blended successfully with the young woman who was with you, Rosha.~

~I'm sure she did.~ I tell him, wanting to comfort him. ~Wait... mate?~

~Yes, Jolinar and I have been mates for almost eighty years. I love her very much.~

I am quiet for a little while before asking what is on my mind. ~What about me? Us? I mean Rosha and me?~

~If you remain my host, and she Jolinar's, then - hopefully - you will come to love each other...actually, unless you hate each other, you will eventually love each other. It is how it is for the Tok'ra. We love as one - and while it may take a little longer this time, because both Jolinar and I have new hosts, I do not truly expect anything to change. I am sorry if this distresses you in any way.~

I don't know what to say to this. Not only will I be a host, but I will have a mate - two mates? I must admit Rosha is attractive, so I am not as adverse to this as I feel I should be. It still seems a bit... weird.