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hathor_girlChapter 12: A New Place and a New Life
Martouf POV
We have left Bastet's palace, after the rest of the celebration was post-poned until she could handle the matter with Morrigan and Ishkur. Lantash has explained much to me, both about the Tok'ra and about his personal life - and his mate, Jolinar.
He has shown me some of his memories of his life with her. She is very independent and strong, and she often does not do as the Council wants her to. She is much more impulsive than most of the Tok'ra, and she will follow her heart, no matter what people tell her.
I get the sense that Lantash loves her very much, and I think I can get to like her too. Then there is Rosha. From what little I know about her, she seems to be a kind and nice person. She is also very attractive, as attractive or more so than Seka, I have to admit. I think back to the experience when she had to - ah - assist me, and while I would dearly have wished we had been in a more private setting, and that she had done it of her own free will, I must admit it was pleasant feeling her hands - and mouth - on me.
Suddenly, I feel myself react and I feel ashamed. Not in the least because Lantash knows, and what will he think of me? It's his mate! I desperately try to control my reaction, and wish for some solitude. I had not considered how embarrassing certain bodily reactions would be when there is always someone present to not only notice, but feel and experience as well.
I then think back to my first real kiss, well Lantash was in control, but I was there, and it was my body. It was wonderful, and I very much wanted us to continue. I do understand, though. Rosha is from a planet where kissing is very much only done when you are married. Still, the kiss was wonderful, and her hands on me was wonderful...and I must not think about this!
How do I stop myself from even thinking of sex for the rest of my life?
~Why do you think I would want you to? Have you considered that I may like sex? I most certainly intend to mate with Jolinar again... and Rosha. She is very attractive, do you not think? Besides, if they agree to continue the relationship - and you do - then they will be not only my mates, but yours as well.~ Lantash points out.
~I think I just thought of sex as somewhat more... ah... private. With only two participants. Me and my wife... wait, Jolinar is really my mate? You will share her with me? I didn't think you meant it!~
Lantash mentally rolls his eyes at me. ~Yes, of course I will share Jolinar with you! Did you think I would put you to sleep when I am with her or how did you think that would work? A relationship between two Tok'ra, always involves four individuals. Besides, while we are separate individuals, we are also as one in many ways. We love as one, as I told you. Host and symbiote are very close friends, and there is no jealousy between them. And the Tok'ra does not look on privacy in quite the same way as some human cultures. We have no doors, and no secrets to each other. We will have private quarters, but they are maybe less private then what you are used to. ~
~It sounds as if there will be a lot to get used to...~
~I am sure you will have little or no problems.~ Lantash comforts me. ~Does this mean you have decided to remain my host?~ he asks, hopefully.
~Yes...I will.~ I tell him. I have thought it over, and it seems the right thing to do. Earlier, he explained to me about their fight against the Goa'uld. It is a noble cause. I trust him. I no longer think he is a Goa'uld or otherwise trying to trick him. Why would he? He can control everything I say or do, so there is little point in lying to me. ~I will be your host - well, remain your host, I suppose.~
He gives me what feels like a hug, only it somehow envelops me completely, and I am flooded with warm feelings. ~Thank you! When we are back at the tunnels, we will blend fully.~
It is late the next day. We have arrived at the Tok'ra tunnels and have been debriefed - and received many condolences for Tokim, Lantash's previous host, and for Lantash's mate, Philta - Jolinar's previous host. Jolinar and Rosha have been through the same. Many people have welcomed me also, and thanked me for becoming Lantash's host. It is getting a bit embarrassing.
It is a very strange place. We were taken underground with the help of a ring transporter, similar to what the Goa'uld and Jaffa use. It makes sense they have the same technology, I guess - and Lantash comments that they have to use Goa'uld technology in order to make people believe they are Goa'uld. They work through infiltration.
I know that - Lantash explained that we may have to go on missions now and then where he will be pretending to be a Goa'uld. He doesn't like it, and many hosts find it distressing, both because they can't be in control, as that would be un-Goa'uld, and because of the things they may have to do in order to not be discovered. I do understand, but I must admit I hope it is not something we will have to do often.
Down in the Tok'ra tunnels, everything is blue - the walls are covered with a kind of blue-grey crystals, which Lantash promises me I will be allowed to study. Very interesting. Actually, the Tok'ra are technologically very advanced, so I hope to be allowed to indulge my scientific interest some of the time.
Lantash is letting me have control and only tells me where to go, when I get lost. He promises me I will not have trouble finding my way when we are fully blended - and I will be able to recognize all these people! I must admit I look forward to that.
We go to pick up some clean clothing in Lantash and Jolinar's room - only to realise I am not the same size as Tokim. Lantash becomes very quiet in my head after being reminded of his loss, but does his best to keep his sorrow from me. We go to get new uniforms and such from the central store...or, I am not sure that is the right name. We do not pay for the clothing, merely hand in the old, and then they measure me, and hand us new, fitting clothes.
Someone Lantash recognizes as Kro'lak promises to have a full wardrobe similar to Lantash's former one brought to our rooms, no later than next days evening. That sounds impressive! He looks at me again, then notes something down, mumbling about my hair- and eye colour clashing with some of the clothes from before, and him having to change some of the colours.
Lantash shrugs, not really interested in clothes. He picks up one of the new uniforms, telling Kro'lak to deliver the others together with the other clothes, thanks him, and leave.
He gives me control again almost immediately, letting me walk back to our quarters while he withdraws to his dark thoughts again. I manage to find the way on my own.
On the way back in, we meet Rosha and Jolinar, obviously on the way to do the same as we have just done. I am reasonably sure it is Rosha who has control. She looks stunning, and I cannot stop myself from fantasizing about her a little. I feel my heart beat faster at the thought of her being my mate - if only she and Jolinar decides to remain... ah... blended, and remain Lantash's mates... I need to talk to them. Get to know them!
Lantash surfaces from his dark thoughts, to agree with me. I let him have control to take a quick bath in the pool. His and Jolinar's quarters have their own pool, like most of the couple's rooms have. Single Tok'ra use the communal pools.
It is nice to be clean from the dirt and dust of the explosions in Bastet's palace, and I feel like staying in the pleasantly warm and fragrant water for a much longer time. However, Lantash does quick work of the bath, saying Rosha and Jolinar will be back soon and will wish to use the bath too - and he suspects Rosha would prefer to bathe alone, at first. He is probably correct. I also feel myself blush at the thought of being naked with her, alone - even though we would not really be alone, and we have been naked together before. We were forced, then, though, and lots of people were watching. This would be more - intimate, I guess.
Afterwards, Lantash dries off using a soft towel, then begins to put on the same kind of uniform I have seen several of the other Tok'ra wear.
~What is the - ah - leather skirt for?~
~It goes with the leather vest - both are for protection. It doubles as a kind of light weight armor, which looks similar to what many people wear on the planets we go to. It is also simply warm clothes, and protection against the environment, and during manual work. It is especially good when you spend long hours hiding under the sand in the desert - the blowing sand easily gets painful otherwise, and this protects us. The reason they are split in two parts is to facilitate movement.~
I 'nod' - mentally. I am not sure I would be able to put these clothes on as quickly as Lantash does - or at all, when it comes to the leg and wrist wrappings, though I admit it fits with the images I have seen in books, of how people dress on many worlds. Including, in fact, the world my family's people may have come from.
We have just finished dressing when Rosha and Jolinar enters the room, also carrying a bundle of new clothing. I'm not sure which one is in control this time, but I quickly realise.
"Ah, Lantash, I see you're manners haven't improved with the new host. There's a sea of water on the floor and your dirty clothing is just dropped in a corner." Jolinar shakes her head at us, but she does not seem angry. There is great love in her expression - as well as sadness over the loss of Tokim, I realise.
Lantash sighs. "Sorry." He picks up our dirty clothing, steals a kiss from Jolinar and flees the room before she can say anything more.
Martouf POV
We have left Bastet's palace, after the rest of the celebration was post-poned until she could handle the matter with Morrigan and Ishkur. Lantash has explained much to me, both about the Tok'ra and about his personal life - and his mate, Jolinar.
He has shown me some of his memories of his life with her. She is very independent and strong, and she often does not do as the Council wants her to. She is much more impulsive than most of the Tok'ra, and she will follow her heart, no matter what people tell her.
I get the sense that Lantash loves her very much, and I think I can get to like her too. Then there is Rosha. From what little I know about her, she seems to be a kind and nice person. She is also very attractive, as attractive or more so than Seka, I have to admit. I think back to the experience when she had to - ah - assist me, and while I would dearly have wished we had been in a more private setting, and that she had done it of her own free will, I must admit it was pleasant feeling her hands - and mouth - on me.
Suddenly, I feel myself react and I feel ashamed. Not in the least because Lantash knows, and what will he think of me? It's his mate! I desperately try to control my reaction, and wish for some solitude. I had not considered how embarrassing certain bodily reactions would be when there is always someone present to not only notice, but feel and experience as well.
I then think back to my first real kiss, well Lantash was in control, but I was there, and it was my body. It was wonderful, and I very much wanted us to continue. I do understand, though. Rosha is from a planet where kissing is very much only done when you are married. Still, the kiss was wonderful, and her hands on me was wonderful...and I must not think about this!
How do I stop myself from even thinking of sex for the rest of my life?
~Why do you think I would want you to? Have you considered that I may like sex? I most certainly intend to mate with Jolinar again... and Rosha. She is very attractive, do you not think? Besides, if they agree to continue the relationship - and you do - then they will be not only my mates, but yours as well.~ Lantash points out.
~I think I just thought of sex as somewhat more... ah... private. With only two participants. Me and my wife... wait, Jolinar is really my mate? You will share her with me? I didn't think you meant it!~
Lantash mentally rolls his eyes at me. ~Yes, of course I will share Jolinar with you! Did you think I would put you to sleep when I am with her or how did you think that would work? A relationship between two Tok'ra, always involves four individuals. Besides, while we are separate individuals, we are also as one in many ways. We love as one, as I told you. Host and symbiote are very close friends, and there is no jealousy between them. And the Tok'ra does not look on privacy in quite the same way as some human cultures. We have no doors, and no secrets to each other. We will have private quarters, but they are maybe less private then what you are used to. ~
~It sounds as if there will be a lot to get used to...~
~I am sure you will have little or no problems.~ Lantash comforts me. ~Does this mean you have decided to remain my host?~ he asks, hopefully.
~Yes...I will.~ I tell him. I have thought it over, and it seems the right thing to do. Earlier, he explained to me about their fight against the Goa'uld. It is a noble cause. I trust him. I no longer think he is a Goa'uld or otherwise trying to trick him. Why would he? He can control everything I say or do, so there is little point in lying to me. ~I will be your host - well, remain your host, I suppose.~
He gives me what feels like a hug, only it somehow envelops me completely, and I am flooded with warm feelings. ~Thank you! When we are back at the tunnels, we will blend fully.~
It is late the next day. We have arrived at the Tok'ra tunnels and have been debriefed - and received many condolences for Tokim, Lantash's previous host, and for Lantash's mate, Philta - Jolinar's previous host. Jolinar and Rosha have been through the same. Many people have welcomed me also, and thanked me for becoming Lantash's host. It is getting a bit embarrassing.
It is a very strange place. We were taken underground with the help of a ring transporter, similar to what the Goa'uld and Jaffa use. It makes sense they have the same technology, I guess - and Lantash comments that they have to use Goa'uld technology in order to make people believe they are Goa'uld. They work through infiltration.
I know that - Lantash explained that we may have to go on missions now and then where he will be pretending to be a Goa'uld. He doesn't like it, and many hosts find it distressing, both because they can't be in control, as that would be un-Goa'uld, and because of the things they may have to do in order to not be discovered. I do understand, but I must admit I hope it is not something we will have to do often.
Down in the Tok'ra tunnels, everything is blue - the walls are covered with a kind of blue-grey crystals, which Lantash promises me I will be allowed to study. Very interesting. Actually, the Tok'ra are technologically very advanced, so I hope to be allowed to indulge my scientific interest some of the time.
Lantash is letting me have control and only tells me where to go, when I get lost. He promises me I will not have trouble finding my way when we are fully blended - and I will be able to recognize all these people! I must admit I look forward to that.
We go to pick up some clean clothing in Lantash and Jolinar's room - only to realise I am not the same size as Tokim. Lantash becomes very quiet in my head after being reminded of his loss, but does his best to keep his sorrow from me. We go to get new uniforms and such from the central store...or, I am not sure that is the right name. We do not pay for the clothing, merely hand in the old, and then they measure me, and hand us new, fitting clothes.
Someone Lantash recognizes as Kro'lak promises to have a full wardrobe similar to Lantash's former one brought to our rooms, no later than next days evening. That sounds impressive! He looks at me again, then notes something down, mumbling about my hair- and eye colour clashing with some of the clothes from before, and him having to change some of the colours.
Lantash shrugs, not really interested in clothes. He picks up one of the new uniforms, telling Kro'lak to deliver the others together with the other clothes, thanks him, and leave.
He gives me control again almost immediately, letting me walk back to our quarters while he withdraws to his dark thoughts again. I manage to find the way on my own.
On the way back in, we meet Rosha and Jolinar, obviously on the way to do the same as we have just done. I am reasonably sure it is Rosha who has control. She looks stunning, and I cannot stop myself from fantasizing about her a little. I feel my heart beat faster at the thought of her being my mate - if only she and Jolinar decides to remain... ah... blended, and remain Lantash's mates... I need to talk to them. Get to know them!
Lantash surfaces from his dark thoughts, to agree with me. I let him have control to take a quick bath in the pool. His and Jolinar's quarters have their own pool, like most of the couple's rooms have. Single Tok'ra use the communal pools.
It is nice to be clean from the dirt and dust of the explosions in Bastet's palace, and I feel like staying in the pleasantly warm and fragrant water for a much longer time. However, Lantash does quick work of the bath, saying Rosha and Jolinar will be back soon and will wish to use the bath too - and he suspects Rosha would prefer to bathe alone, at first. He is probably correct. I also feel myself blush at the thought of being naked with her, alone - even though we would not really be alone, and we have been naked together before. We were forced, then, though, and lots of people were watching. This would be more - intimate, I guess.
Afterwards, Lantash dries off using a soft towel, then begins to put on the same kind of uniform I have seen several of the other Tok'ra wear.
~What is the - ah - leather skirt for?~
~It goes with the leather vest - both are for protection. It doubles as a kind of light weight armor, which looks similar to what many people wear on the planets we go to. It is also simply warm clothes, and protection against the environment, and during manual work. It is especially good when you spend long hours hiding under the sand in the desert - the blowing sand easily gets painful otherwise, and this protects us. The reason they are split in two parts is to facilitate movement.~
I 'nod' - mentally. I am not sure I would be able to put these clothes on as quickly as Lantash does - or at all, when it comes to the leg and wrist wrappings, though I admit it fits with the images I have seen in books, of how people dress on many worlds. Including, in fact, the world my family's people may have come from.
We have just finished dressing when Rosha and Jolinar enters the room, also carrying a bundle of new clothing. I'm not sure which one is in control this time, but I quickly realise.
"Ah, Lantash, I see you're manners haven't improved with the new host. There's a sea of water on the floor and your dirty clothing is just dropped in a corner." Jolinar shakes her head at us, but she does not seem angry. There is great love in her expression - as well as sadness over the loss of Tokim, I realise.
Lantash sighs. "Sorry." He picks up our dirty clothing, steals a kiss from Jolinar and flees the room before she can say anything more.