The Soul Stones, PG-13, 6/?

[hathor_girl]

 

I stand outside the Council chamber, waiting for the decision of the Council. I still feel a little dazed over it all. The Council members - except Selmak, who looked rather smug - were rather shocked when I declared I wanted my rightful marriage to Martouf and Lantash to be recognized, and when I made my challenge. I suspect their reaction is nothing to what my team-members will say when they hear about it. They were fortunately off base when I left with dad, as SG-1 is on stand-down. Officially to let us relax after the stress of the summit, but unofficially because I needed the time off.

Finally, they start coming out. My dad walks over to me with a big smile on his face. "Congratulations, kiddo! They accepted your challenge. Lantash will be allowed to try and heal Martouf."

I feel elated. "That's wonderful! Can I go see them first?"

"Well, they're currently in stasis, but I guess you can see the stasis chamber, if you want to. I have promised to help out with a healing device when they take them out, so that should increase their chances as well."

I hug my dad. "Thanks."

"You're welcome..." He gets a mischieveous glint in his eyes. "And congratulations on the marriage - I think you owe us all some wedding cake and a party."

I blush deeply. "Yeah...we'll see about that if everything goes well." I suddenly feel very worried. Before, all I thought about was getting Lantash permission to try and save Martouf, and I felt all would be well then. Now I fear he will not succeed. What then? Will I lose both without ever really having them? I feel a constriction in my chest.

My dad sees my change in mood. "They'll be alright, Sammie. We must believe that."

I nod, and we go to the Tok'ra healer's rooms, to check on Martouf and Lantash's stasis chamber. I still feel much trepidation.

---

It is a couple days later. The healers - and Anise/Freya - have checked and double checked the stasis unit, and scanned Martouf and Lantash inside. They feel confident they have prepared all as well as possible.

I stand in my small guest room I have been given. Now and then I pace back and forth. I look at my clock. By now they have shut down the stasis field, taken Martouf/Lantash out, and connected them to whatever machines the Tok'ra have to help keep Martouf stable while Lantash heal him. My dad will attempt to help with a healing device, as will two of the healers. Dad says he and Selmak are very good at it, so I should not be worried, but I am.

I try to relax. Sitting down. Getting up again. Pacing the small room. I am going crazy over this! I go for a small walk in the corridors. I meet a few Tok'ra, all who smile encouragingly at me. They all know what is happening - the Tok'ra rumour mill is always working full time. They also all know about my challenge - and my statement that I wanted to be considered Martouf and Lantash's mate, as was my right.

No one had expected this, but most seems to approve. I talked to a few of the Tok'ra yesterday, in the mess hall. Malek, Anise, Aldwin, Lopnek...they all said they were happy and that they hoped all would be well. They tell me Lantash is one of the best at healing among the Tok'ra, so that is good.

It also turns out the Tok'ra all know about Martouf and Lantash's feelings for me. They are apparently not very good at hiding them - which I guess I already knew.

---

Finally, several hours later, my dad comes through the door, looking exhausted, but happy.

"They'll live." He smiles at me. "It was hard, but they will make a complete recovery."

I don't think I have ever felt happier. It feels as if my heart sings. "Can I go see them?"

My dad shakes his head. "They need to rest. Lantash is exhausted and Martouf is sleeping deeply. They will be weak for a couple days, but a good nights rest will help them much. You need some rest too - I don't think you've slept well for a long time. Go to sleep. Tomorrow you can go talk to them."

"Thanks, dad." I hug him.

I suddenly feel very tired, though I am almost giddy with happiness and much too happy to be able to sleep. I decide to take a warm bath, and after that I am able to sleep. Tomorrow I will get to talk to Martouf and Lantash again!

I wake up in the middle of the night, suddenly worried they will not want me. I am deliriously happy they are alive and will be well, but what if they are angry at me for shooting them? What if the zatarc-programming - even though it is gone now, removed by the zat-shot they say - somehow altered their personality? Their feelings for me? But I know Lantash loved me in the other timeline, so he should in this as well, I tell myself.

But what about Martouf? What if only Lantash loves me, and Martouf is just 'fond' of me, as he said, and think of me only as what is left of Jolinar? Is that enough? He seems to want something of a relationship with me - I think - but does he love me? Will he ever? Or will he just think of me as the woman who carries what is left of his love, and who was the one that caused her death - even if I did not mean to? The one who shot him - even if he begged me to, and I had no choice?

I am - confused. I want to believe Lantash loves me - and if he does, will Martouf not also come to love me, even if he doesn't already? I remember clearly him telling they love as one, so he should love me also.

The thoughts keeps chasing each other in my mind, and it is late before I finally fall asleep again. At least my dreams are normal, even if some of them are angsty.

 chapter 7