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hathor_girlJolinar has been quiet for several hours, and I don't feel like talking either. We have eaten a little, and bathed, but done little else. I have left Jolinar in control - soon she will be in a tank, so that is the least I can do. She has talked to one or two friends, but it is awkward.
It is time, now, and Jolinar has given me control. I am on my way to the healing chambers, to have the healers help Jolinar leave me, and go into a tank. She has asked for two of her friends that are healers assistants to be the ones to help her, and it has been granted. I am relieved that it is not Pilka. I don't like him. On the other hand, Jolinar's friends will not like me for making her leave me.
I push the thoughts away. Afterwards, when Jolinar has left, the healers will repair any damage quickly - and Jolinar will tell my body to heal faster as well, before she leaves.
Jolinar is silent, preparing for the process. She has closed herself off completely, and it feels like I am already alone. There are no other thoughts flitting to my mind than my own. I barely sense anything but myself. Soon this is how it will be all the time. It should be a relief, but strangely it is not. Part of me already misses her. Am I crazy?
Another thing - my heart is heavy with fear for Martouf and Lantash. What if they really are captured? What if their only chance of escape is Jolinar and me rescuing them? Can I stand to know that I may have doomed them?
No, I can't. I realize that if hear in a few weeks or months that Martouf and Lantash were never found, or if they had been killed - after weeks or months of torture - then I would not be able to handle it. Not at all. Especially not knowing I could maybe have done something so it didn't happen.
I make a decision, feeling insane as I do it. ~Jolinar?~
It takes a while before she responds. ~Yes? Is it time?~
~No. I...Jolinar, I can't do this. What if we are Martouf and Lantash's only chance? We need to rescue them! And I can't do that alone. I have no clue where to go. I need you.~
Jolinar is so surprised - and relieved - that it is several moments before she answers. ~Then that is what we will do. Thank you, Samantha. You have no idea how grateful I am. I promise, I will leave you as soon as we return. If we work swiftly, it should still be possible.~
I don't mention that I am not even sure if I want her to leave. There will be time for that later. Time for those decisions. ~What do we do?~
~The Council would not agree to let us leave on this mission. However, they will allow you to return to your people. We must - somehow - convince them I have left, and you are leaving for home immediately.~
~How? Can't they sense you?~
~Yes, unless I use a compound like the one the ashrak that tried to kill me used. The healers will know how to produce it.~
~And since the healers present will be your friends, they will not mind helping you with this!~
~They will agree to a, ah small deception, I am sure. I will make sure to make it clear to the Council when I come back, that my friends are not to be punished.~
Jolinar talked to her friends, and managed to convince them to hide the fact that she had not been removed from me. It took some convincing, and they insisted on talking to me as well, to be certain that I actually agreed with this. They know how much Jolinar loves her mates and what she would do to save them!
Then, they mixed the compound that is used to mask the energy signature of a symbiote. We have gotten an injector-vial with ten doses from them. We need to take one every 24 hours, in order for Jolinar to remain masked. She believes it will be an advantage when we are to be undercover, looking for Martouf and Lantash, since that means we can hide as a human slave. We can return dressed as a Goa'uld, if that turns out to be needed. 10 doses will hopefully be enough to find and save Martouf and Lantash!
We take the first dose and wait for it to become fully active. Then I leave the healers chamber, to go to pick up my own uniform and dress in that. We are leaving for Earth, as soon as I have talked to the Council and told them I am leaving.
I wish we did not have to go to Earth. It will be difficult to escape from there, especially since I will not be allowed on any missions soon, I suspect. However, that is the only plan we have been able to come up with.
We have sent the IDC from the GDO the Tok'ra have been given, and after receiving an okay, I give the GDO to a Tok'ra guard. He nods at me, and I walk through the even horizon, thinking about the reactions of the other Tok'ra. They are angry with Jolinar for having taken me as an unwilling host, they feel compassion with me for that, they are happy and surprised I allowed Jolinar to be healed - but there are still those that are angry that I made her leave me. As they think. I wonder how they will react when they learn I haven't, and that Jolinar and I have run off on a mission we were not allowed to go on? Will the Council be angry at me as well? Jolinar thinks she will be punished with years in a tank, but if I remain her host, that will not happen. They can't put me in a tank. But they can punish us both, I guess, but that would have to be with some sort of demotion or hard work, dangerous mission, perhaps? I don't know. That is thoughts for later.
I greet my friends from the SGC, including the rest of SG-1 who quickly run to the gateroom when they hear I have arrived. I smile at them, glad to see them, but too worried for Martouf and Lantash to be as happy as I otherwise would.
"Sam!" Daniel smiles at me, then gives me a hug. Somewhat awkwardly, I hug him back.
"Hi, Daniel." I give him a smile, then turn to smile to the others. "Colonel, Teal'c... General."
"Welcome back, Captain Carter." Hammond smiles as well.
"Yeah, good to see you, Carter. Is the snake gone?" Jack says.
"You have been missed, Captain Carter." Teal'c bows his head to me.
"Thanks guys! I missed you too!" I say, then Jolinar urges me to lie. "The Tok'ra healer had Jolinar's removal scheduled for this morning, and after a few check-ups, they said I was good to leave for home. My throat is not even sore." I say, hope the half-truths will appease them.
"That's good to hear, Carter!" Jack smiles. Daniel smiles too, as does Teal'c. "Do you think you're up for a little trip? Tuplo has invited us to his daughters wedding, and I didn't think we could say no. There'll be cake!"
"Cake, sir?" I smile, trying to remember who Tuplo's daughter was. The illness I had gotten on the Land of the Light meant most of that mission was a blur. "Oh, yeah, his daughter's name is Melosha, right?"
"Yep, that's her."
"Okay, when?"
"We were actually leaving in about an hour, but are you sure you fell up to it?"
"Absolutely!" I say, urged on by Jolinar. This is an excellent opportunity to get away! "I just need to report in with General Hammond - and change this!" I touch my not particularly clean BDU. "I hope it's not any sort of dress code?"
"Oh, it is - but nothing we need to worry about. We'll be dressed in 'suitable clothes' when we arrive." Jack grinned. "Seems they don't trust our clothing style!"
Somewhat to my surprise, Hammond agrees to let me go with the rest of my team! My dad must have done a good job convincing them the Tok'ra can be trusted, since they trust me without insisting to check if I am still a host! I hope me and Jolinar running off will not harm the trust between our peoples too much - I think an alliance would be very important.
Jolinar keeps quiet and allows me to handle everything here. Partly I think she feels indebted to me for letting her stay longer, and partially it's because I already know these people. Of course, Jolinar is also deep in thought regarding planning our mission.
As soon as we arrive, we are taken to be bathed and dressed in local finery. I think I look a little funny in the dress they gave me, though it is at least fairly subdued, compared to what the men wear. Daniel Jack, and Teal'c all look more than a little ridiculous in their colourful dresses - and with the exception of Daniel, very uncomfortable!
Jolinar reminds me that it is a type of clothing that is normal on many worlds, and I know she is correct. My team-mates still look funny - mostly due to Jack's expression. Oh, and their hats, definitely their hats!
My dress is a soft brown, with a thin, lighter cloak. I wear sandals, and a simple bead necklace. The only woman in a fanciful dress is the bride.
The celebration goes well, but it is very long. Finally the dinner begins, with one course following the other, now and then with breaks for singing and dancing. I am getting edgy, and Jolinar is very nervous and impatient. We decide it is time to escape. I touch Daniel's arm and lean in to whisper in his ear that I am not feeling completely well. I say I think it was the very creamy and rich food, which I am not used to...especially just after the exhausting experience with Jolinar.
He looks like he feels sorry for me - he is obviously enjoying the celebration and the whole dinner and party. He promises me to tell the others, and I thank him, sneaking off to pretend to go back to the base.