Fic, Returns, PG-13, 4/?

[hathor_girl]

4.

Without anyone noticing, I get the notes about the ashrak-drug and also manage to figure out the correct ratio - more or less. If someone with a symbiote is really paying attention, they may detect a difference - if they know me that well, but most don't. Another problem is that the drug is highly unstable - at least unless you have a vial with a stasis-field, which the ashrak had. It was damaged, though, and I don't have the technology to repair it.

This means the drug has to be taken within a few hours after being made, and it is also only good for maybe 10 hours, or a little longer then it starts to wear off and a new dose is needed.

So that's how long we have to carry out our plan after we get to the Tok'ra.

I very much hope dad is at the base, because otherwise we're in deep trouble - though Jolinar is confident we will be able to do this without his assistance.

Now I know why she was known for being impulsive and self-confident. Always ready to take chances the other Tok'ra weren't. Willing to go in where angels fear to thread and hope she'll figure it out in the course of the mission. It has gotten her into trouble more than once, but it has also helped her be one of their most effective agents - and saved both her own and others lives several times.

Let's hope this is one of those times.

---

Next day I go and talk to General Hammond and convince him I want to spend some of my vacation visiting dad. He accepts that without question. Why shouldn't he?

Jolinar and I leave later in the day, having just taken a fresh dose of the drug. We will soon know if it works as intended - if dad or any of the others senses anything is different.

We arrive on Vorash in late afternoon, which is perfect. Time enough to scout the place before it gets dark - and then still time to grab Martouf/Lantash from the stasis unit and get away with him without being discovered.

That, at least, is what we hope.

Two Tok'ra guards greet me at the 'gate. For once, I easily recognize them as Petha and Rinok. Or Jolinar recognizes them. The difference is a little blurry - which it shouldn't be yet, as we're not blended.

Jolinar says the fact I have - for lack of better terms - a download of her memories. Her presence means I can access them easier - it also means we could probably just as well blend and get the advantages, since I will have most of her emotions and memories even if she leaves me - whether we blend or not.

What a mess!

I tell the guards I'm here to visit my dad. They don't notice anything strange, which is good, but they also tell me he's not here right now, but that he'll be back later today, probably.

Perhaps that's good. We still don't feel sure he'll believe Jolinar is not some random Goa'uld, so perhaps it is better he's not here? I can stay here with the excuse of waiting to see my dad, and meanwhile I can walk around more or less as I want. We're allies, and they trust me.

Frowning, I wonder if that still will be the case after tonight - though Jolinar is confident all will be well.

I wish I shared her confidence.

Stopping for a moment, I look at the area near the Stargate - it's open for a good stretch, but there is a couple large rocks nearby, which will provide some protection. I have a zat and a Goa'uld stun grenade, both of which I'm going to use to stun the guards with when we flee - if necessary.

We track out the path that we're going to run when we - hopefully - escape. The back exit from the tunnels are located behind a large rock, not far from the Stargate, so that's going to be the way we use.

I slowly stroll back to the main Tok'ra entrance, easily locating where the rings are located and using the small controller the guards handed me when I arrived.

Usually, I have a hard time finding the rings, though I have become better at it. They have a very specific naquadah signature. However, with Jolinar's help, it is easy.

---

I have greeted various Tok'ra and chatted with a few I know reasonably well. Jolinar and I agree that of the four who know most about the anti-zatarc program, Anise is the more likely to agree to help me. I don't want to tell her more than absolutely necessary, so our plan is to inquire about Martouf and Lantash and then somehow get Anise to take us to the room their stasis unit is in.

~Why don't you just tell her you have realised you're in love with Martouf and want to see them one last time? That should put Freya at ease, at least, as she very much wants Colonel O'Neill - and suspects you want him. Realising you're not a rival, but wanted someone else - whether or not you can have him - might even make her feel sorry for you and help you.~

I can't say I like the idea, but having no better, I agree to it. We find Anise and I tell her. It is difficult - but not just because I don't like opening up emotionally, or because I don't like lying to get what I want.

It is difficult because I realise it is the truth. I do love him...and I do need to see him, even if it is just the one last time.

Anise looks as if she doesn't know how to react. I'm not surprised - she is not what you would call a 'people-person' and she has problems with close relationships, I know this. In fact, in some ways she is very much like myself, and I would likely react like she does, if someone told me what I just told her.

However, Freya is a more open extrovert personality, and Anise gives her control.

"I will take you to see him, if you think that will help you." She gives me a look of pity. Or perhaps simply compassion.

I hate being pitied, but give her a smile and follow her. I can do this.

Jolinar takes note of the tunnels we go through. I am very happy for her - I would have had a very hard time finding my way through there - they're like a labyrinth and all the corridors look alike. There must be a way to figure it out, but I leave Jolinar to do that.